To say the least, I have been burnt out. Business has really picked up, and personal health issues have slowed down my Oomph.
Here's the thing I have learned about myself this week. When bad news comes, I give myself 3 choices. One: Eat myself numb to stop the feelings
Two: Ignore and move on (actually I am not sure I have ever been able to do this)
Three: Do something to make myself stronger
For the first week of my scare I ate.. Not terribly, but each day I would have some dark chocolate when I started to feel anything. This week when the scare got a little worse, I decided to change my attitude.
My attitude now is, if indeed my body will need to fight a good battle to heal then I need it to be in tip top shape, and mentally I need to be able to focus, I need to learn that I have amazing abilities inside of myself.
The phone call came on Wednesday evening. I had a cry, hugged my hubby, called my mom, and then went to the computer and printed off a groupon I bought months ago for hot yoga. I got in the car and I started to drive, with the hockey game on I assumed there would be no traffic. Nope, I made it 1 exit on the highway in 40 minutes. So I came home. I think now, that it was probably best.
Last night rolled around and I was ready (or so I thought). I left a little earlier and I drove to North Van and I cashed in my groupon.
|When I bent down the sweat dripped into my nose.. no joke.|
I attended my first Bikrams Yoga. I won't lied, I hated every 90 minutes of it. I thought I was going to pass out, throw up, fail. I did have to stop and just lay still a few times, and I was not good at any of the poses by any means. But I stayed. I did the 90 minutes. (Although I think I stampeded out of the room faster than I could think once the class was over).. Ahh fresh air. The teacher & the regulars said it was hotter than normal... perhaps they are trying to keep my hopes up for next class, so I'll come back.
|Not me.. but I swear I had 2 gallons more sweat & my face looked like a tomato for 3 hours afterwards|
I really didn't think I would make it through the 90 minutes, I even sat there and tried to convince myself to leave.. little "shoulder Aly" kept saying "just quit, you'll never come back anyway, who cares what they all think..." I don't know how, but somehow I mustered up the power to stay. I won a small battle against myself.
I am sure my car will forever have a humidity problem, due to my hot body & sweaty mess...and for the first hour after the class, I was still hating it thinking of how I will never go back... and then a strange thing happened... the next hour that followed, my body was more alive than I had ever felt it. It tingled, it was awake, it was happy. I was happy. I was proud of myself, and this morning when I woke up after only 6 hours of sleep, I was awake. I still had that same energy I had last night, and I have to tell you, it is the most energy I have had for the past month.
I did something I didn't think I could do, and in the end it felt great.
I now know I can take anything on, and I beat it. It may suck during, but the end result is fantastic.
And yes, I plan on going back tonight.