- Getting out of the house on time
- picking the slow lane at the border
- Not having my size of jeans at the fat girl store (actually I needed a smaller size so that goes in the went well category too)
- Shopping at Trader Joe's on a hungry tummy.. Will power was out the window
- Jack in the Box (I did go for the grilled chicken sandwich..it was the curly fries I couldn't say no to)
- Cinnabon (although bought for Darren..I succumbed to the temptation and had one later that night)
- Getting home and not being able to say no to 3 of the chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's (I blame Jolene for this)
- Heat rash on my face breaks out (decided to start tanning to look thinner and maybe thought I could handle more time than I can)
Today's a new day right?.. Well let me tell you how it has started:
Got up to pee, went to go lay back down in my cozy warm bed and apparently I am not the only one who wanted some rest... That's right.. A FUCKING MOUSE WAS KEEPING MY SPOT WARM.
When it ran up my leg and grazed my hand I SCREAMED... and then with all my bravery I have inside me.. I jumped out of bed and ripped back the blanket to make sure my suspicions were indeed correct.. there it was - this tiny grey mouse playing dead..
Here's what I wish I had done: Screamed at it "YOU'RE NOT A POSSUM..GET UP AND FIGHT ME" and then pick it up and thrown it outside..
But instead I screamed louder than my 5 year old has ever screamed and ran waving my arms frantically while trying not to vomit, scaring my children back into the womb.
When I was finally able to talk again I proceeded to call my husband (because obviously this is his fault).. His evil laughing was not appreciated and neither was his wisdom. This is what he texted me after crying to him on the phone:
Him: "Funny yet?"
Me: "No.. still Traumatized"
Him: "Well just think WWCSD (what would Charlie Sheen Do) - He would crack open the booze and call 1-DIAL-LAW-HORE."
On a related note: I am looking for a rodent free home to sleep in tonight, anyone have a spare one? I prefer top bunk (more of a challenge for a mouse I figure).